crazy things my students say

best compliment ever

2010-09-09T11:21:00.000-07:00

i walked past the principal this morning on my way in and after saying good morning, she told me about a conversation she had with a student yesterday. this was one of my former students from last year, someone who i encouraged to stay after school with me. there was something that told me she needed this, she came often and there was a major improvement in her.

anyhow - she apparently told the principal that i was her favorite teacher and how much she loved me. this would be flattering enough to completely make my day, but then the principal told me more.

she said that she knew she was loved and she knew how much i loved her. i could have cried. it gets me misty-eyed just thinking about that, because i *do* love her and it's wonderful that she knows that :)

Senior Final Exam

2010-06-07T13:15:00.000-07:00

Q: Write an essay that describes how a scientist would use the scientific method to analyze the cause of a disease.

A: first the scientists, we’ll call him Marty, not saying that all scientists are men but I read about him he is a very good scientist, he will make an observation to make sure everyone with the disease is not just made… oh no his wife has the disease now its personal. Marty will probably break into the science lab he works at to test his experiment because now he has a big problem. He hears cops and just before they break in the last test tube comes up positive. Marty records his data he doesn’t have time to send it out to be tested, not this time. Marty goes home, he is obviously not a full time criminal because he wasn’t expecting the cops. They arrest him. He asks a female cop to take the test tube to his wife. And that’s how it ends I guess we’ll never know how Marty’s wife is doing but in conclusion Marty is doing 20 to life for breaking and entering.

Q: what does the fact that a sodium ion is a cation and an chloride ion is an anion have to do with why the sodium and chlorine form a bond?

2010-04-30T07:01:00.000-07:00

(correct answer should have something to do with opposite charges attracting)

A#1: "sodium and chlorine go way back. like it would be crazy if they didn't bond. they make that good good sodium chloride that i use to wash my dog"

A#2: "calcium is good for the bones and carrots help the eyes."

i dont even know how to title this!

2010-04-16T09:53:00.000-07:00

Assignment: using the geologic time line, write an essay that describes the history of life on Earth.

student: do i have to do this?
me: yes.
student: but i dont believe in this. it's just a theory, it isnt true.
me: its not a theory, we have fossils. we win.
student: no you dont win.
me: yes, i win. *walks away*

(mind you, we arent talking about evolution here, just the order of events in how creatures started showing up on Earth. Evolution comes up next week. i cant wait!)

assignment: read and summarize this particular article in one paragraph, and include your thoughts on the matter

2010-04-06T12:40:00.000-07:00

in a nutshell, the article was about how, a number of years ago, in Antartica, some scientists found fossils of animals that live in warmer climates. the scientists have theorized that it is likely that Antartica used to be a warmer climate, possibly even a jungle, due to the kinds of fossils they have found. we have been covering fossils and how we get clues about Earth from studying these and rocks and what not, in some pretty good detail. so i thought this would be a good way to round it out and give it some real-world context.

one student writes: "Antartica used to have warm climates. By drilling for fossils, scientists have discovered this. About 60 million years ago, Antartica may have looked like a Brazilian rain forest. Scientists have also discovered fossils of marine organisms that can only live in sunny coastal waters. I dont believe this is true. by looking for fossils, scientists can not just assume it used to be warm without better proof."

that last part is where i want to bang my head into a wall and go back and re-do an entire unit.

as a side note-this student observed a day of silence by wearing tape on her mouth for a day as a protest against abortion. i mentioned that the day of silence originated from gay rights, hoping that she would see how hypocritical this was, given that people who are anti-choice tend to also be anti-human rights for all sexualities. she did not seem to make the connection.

these two things (the opinion and the protest) are probably related.

Q: What is unique about the nuclei of all elements of the actinide series?

2010-03-26T07:25:00.000-07:00

(the answer is that the nuclei are all unstable, making them radioactive)

A: "the nuclei is the mass of the electronegativity in the nucleus with the inner electrons that charges the atomic number that calculates the atomic mass by the particles and waves in the element."

we are now dumber for having read that. no credit.

Mid Terms, day 2

2010-01-21T05:08:00.001-08:00

Q: differentiate between a law in science and a law in government.

A: a law in science doesn't put anyone away except for galileo. sike it explains something. a law in normal life is something you have to follow or the Po Po will get you.

Mid Terms part 2

2010-01-15T04:12:00.000-08:00

Q: write a short essay about the difference between a law in government and a law in science.

A: the difference is that the law of government can kill when they want to.

i'm kind of at a loss as to what kind of credit i should give. i'm leaning toward full credit.

its time for Science Mid Terms!

2010-01-13T13:20:00.000-08:00

not too bad today, but then again, it's only day one. i might have more tomorrow!

Q: in your rock hunting collection, you have a representative sample of each of the seven sedimentary rock features. describe these seven rocks in your collection.

A: the seven rocks in my collection are all sedimentary. i dont really know much about it because i never paid attention so i'm gonna write all this pointless stuff so that it looks like i actually wrote an essay. thats what i think about sedimentary rocks. k byeeee.

Q: write a paragraph that describes what reduces the angularity of clastic sedimentary rocks

2009-12-23T08:07:00.000-08:00

A: Well chuck norris reduces it. when he gets mad. he looks at the rock as his razor-ray vision hits it they get less angular.

Q: How would you describe JJ Thomson's experiment if you were speaking with your grandmother?

2009-12-17T05:21:00.000-08:00

A#1: He thought that his vaccuume and batary would find the electron. Then he killed his grandmom!

A#2: my grandmom doesn't speak english.